because you know they're going to eat it

oh hello there, fam bam and friends. :)

first of all, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GRANDPA RAY! i really hope you have the best day in the world.

next, i've been on a mission for seven months today. wicki-wha? we'll leave that one at that.

we had breakfast with the baileys this morning. they're the senior couple that invited us over this morning and then gave me and cectpa bull an adorable russian children's book so we have something to read to our children someday. in other words, it's adorable. and i can't believe they are going home in less than a month. speaking of children. in church yesterday there was a couple from utah. draper, to be exact. they're here adopting a little girl with down's syndrome. i translated for her in relief society, so unfortunately for her she probably didn't understand much. russian's hard to translate on the spot since they have no rules on word order. anyway. i forgot how different americans are in the way they look, act, and everything else. i forgot that ukrainians are so different. that'll be a fun shock when i'm in america again. anyway. and it's already decided that i'm someday adopting a child from eastern europe. i hope my future husband doesn't have a problem with that.

last week we had a zone meeting that was quite wonderful. and the best part is always seeing other missionaries. i love these people.

today's subject line is brought to you by when we were walking home from aforementioned zone meeting and on the well-beaten path between the metro and our apartment there were two women standing over a fish. yes, a dead raw fish in the middle of the pathway. it had fallen out of the bag she had because she'd just bought it from the vendors on that pathway that have a bunch of raw fish and other meat out all day every day. it makes me regularly want to throw up, but it's fine. the thing is, we laughed at the hilarity, and then i made sister bull's day when i then said as we laughed, "well, because you know they're going to eat it." because they are. it's fine. gross. i'm over it. good thing there's a rule against eating fish. not that i ever would.

i'm probably a month behind in my journal. that said, i've taken to writing things in my planner. little thoughts. inspirations. whatever you will. i feel like that's sometimes the best description of my week. so here are just some of them.

- sometimes it seems as though the only people who will talk to us are men. men that are drunk or soon will be. the women are harder. tougher. more closed. not because they're not genuinely kind, but because they've learned to guard kindness after so much suffering. why open your heart and mind to something different when you spend all your time clinging to what you have to keep your family alive?

- 'by realizing that all people laugh, cry, eat, pray, and die, we erase the lines we think are between us.' -maya angelou. not an exact quote, but that's life on a mission.

- i really just love the stuffings out of these people. every once in awhile i have moments in which i think i hate every last one of them, but soon after god always finds a way to remind me of the truth. how much i love them for exactly who they are. for the way they paint a silver shell around themselves that's really just made of aluminum foil. a thin sheet that looks tougher than it really is and attempts to protect the kind and loving heart that lies within. i just love them.

- no tracting experience is ever complete until a (mostly) naked man answers the door.

- alcohol is their piano man. [we met a man yesterday morning that was on the way into a bar. to drink vodka. to play dominos. to socialize. because home is quiet. boring. no one to talk to. these people drink away their loneliness and sadness. because they're all in the mood for a melody, and the vodka gets them feeling alright.]

yesterday morning the sun came out a little bit. that's a liberal term. there were a few tiny slots of blue sky, and places where the clouds weren't as thick so you could see the outline of the sun lighting and beaming on everything. and a woman i talked to yesterday morning called me sunshine. солничька. it's fine, mom. you're little sunshine girl that's obsessed with sunbeams will forever be that way. if there's even the slightest bit of blue sky or sun coming out or brigher light, you better believe everyone around me is going to hear about it. i'm going to die of happiness in the summertime when the sun comes out to play more permanently.

what else to say. i don't really know. but i know that i love anyone who's reading this and made it this far. and i apologize if it's a boring thing to read. we're just over here trying to set the world on fire, even though it doesn't want to be. chipping away an iceberg with a tiny ice pick.

have a beautiful week, to one and all. :) my apologies that i don't know how to speak english or russian or anything else for that matter at this point. if it's any consolation, something about this week involved laughing harder than i have in ages. cectpa bull and i are good at that.

much love,
cectpa em.