how 'bout them apples?

fam bam.

oh, here we are again. time flies. weird. moving on.

well, in case you were wondering, my two daughters are doing well. weird phrasing, and yet i literally have never felt so much like a mother. with one, i did, yes. but now. it's strange. like a mother to teenagers. two children with such different needs. how do i best help them? a new question in every second of every day. but really, i delight in it.

"diligently doing the things that matter most" -president dieter f. uchtdorf.

"what is most important almost always involves the people around us. [...] never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved." -president thomas s. monson.

love. that's true diligence. we talked a lot of love this week. because love is how we become exactly obedient. because love is at the core. it has to be. we're useless without it.

we met with lots of less actives this week. had millions of miracles.

there's a member who has a wife who was close to joining the church around 10 years ago, but then some insensitive elders marched in without even knowing her and demandingly asked about baptism. she shut down. that was that. it's been rough ever since. she's legitimately one of the crabbiest babushkas i've ever met. and yet, he let us come over because we'd met her once on the street. boris. did i tell you? he reminds me powerfully of grandpa nevers. it makes me smile. and his wife? sister andrade melted her heart. she showed us her pictures. she's never done that, she says. she said we could come back. what? we're taking it slow and steady. boris is happy as a clam. miracles.

we met with a less active named aleksander. he's only less active because he takes care of his mother who is old and can't be left alone so it's hard to ever get away for church because there's no one to be with her. he's wonderful. he loves us. he told us of a dream he had. (so as in most situations, i was the only one who understood, but i later translated to my companions.) his vision, he said. he saw a beam. a ray of light before him and running through him. he heard two words. "my son." and he replied in one, "i'm coming." and a one word reply, "early." and that was that. he knew he still had work to do. i love the way people dream here. it's beautiful.

(i don't love the way i have dreams here. a mission thing i'm hoping will end someday.)

sister andrade's trying to break the habit of saying the word that means 'good' in russian after everything. and it begins with the sound 'h'. she once said, 'i mean, how about that?' i said, 'how 'bout them apples?' and there it was born.

we laugh. a lot. sister andrade. kills me. so. funny. and it's fine, she makes killer grilled cheese. so that's what she did while i helped sister hassard make calls in russian. win all around.

it's been a year. over a year. there were miracles to celebrate. it's official that sister pharis will be going home with me. i won't be alone. we talked to an old woman named luba that loves the arts. she showed us her husband's paintings - he died 30 years ago. they were beautiful. we had a beautiful talk. i read her parts from the book of mormon that related to things she said or questions she asked. she wouldn't take a book. i love her anyway.

good morning sun, i am a bird. i studied light today. truly the light is sweet. the light of god's love.

"time is running out, come save. addicted to our pride, come save. pour out your mercy like rain. your son's and your daughters cry for you. the waves of the waters reach to you. all of creation rises up and screams out your name. oh, lord. come save."

that song has been in my head the past few days. whatever it is. some song of some sort. mercy like rain.

love to one and all. miracles all around. so much to be said. so much that never can be.

much love,
sister em.