little boxes on the hillside

fam bam,

donetsk was beautiful, thank you.

the leadership in this mission is incredible. this mission has come so far and is going so far.

the sisters in this mission are delightful.

we talked a lot about so many things.

i received the copy of 'his grace is sufficient.' a life-changer.

'grace is not the light at the end of the tunnel, but the light that moves us through the tunnel.' -brad wilcox.

the thing is.

that's it. that's why god sends us on missions. to teach us true consecration.

that's what it's all about. using grace. being consecrated. giving all up in order to become all you're capable of becoming.

but how do you foster that in people? how do you help others see the benefits and necessity of truly giving yourself to the path of discipleship?

i don't know the answer. because everyone has a different path. a different coming to jesus.

in this week of so many things, i've had my whole mission run through me.

realized that i don't really know where my home is.

a woman on the train asked me where i was going, where i'm from.

i had to stop and think.

home is where your heart is, they say.

up, down, all around. all the places i've been before.

all the experiences culminating into all that i am and all i've become.

i've changed a lot in these many months.

the specifics of which, i don't know, per say.

they just are as they are.

there's only a week and a half left of this transfer. it flew.

i get lost in the beauty of everything i see. the love can begin.

yesterday i told a delightful grandpa member that i liked his tie. he told me he just liked me in general.

little does he know, he made my day.

this life is beautiful.

getting to know people in a way you never otherwise could.

but to do so, you have to give yourself to that. let yourself.

you have to have something coursing through your veins. a portion of the gospel that's like fire within you, that you can't help but have a deep need to share. and that portion is directly linked to the gospel itself. through that ultimate driving motivator, you become a true disciple. sharing that leads directly to the doctrine of christ - to faith, repentance, baptism, the holy ghost, and enduring to the end.

but you have to have that fire.

something coursing through your veins.

and if you don't?

you'd better want it.

you'd better be giving all you've ever known to finding it.

once you have found it, never let it go.

'we all want to make this worth it.' -sister lochhead.

'missions are made up of a lot of little things. you have to pay your dues. work hard. meet the demons within you--and beat them.'

president said that.

as a missionary, you meet your demons.

and you ought to beat them.

mine are met and defeated.

but so many other missionaries? they're still somewhere on that path.

every day, every way. all the little moments. all the little things.

paying your dues. and then it comes.


i just want to work. i just want to lose myself. to be who i'm supposed to be at the exact time and place i'm supposed to be that. to do god's will. because there's nothing else. i have come to do the will of my father. there's nothing else worth wanting.

much love,
sister em.